Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
