also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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