So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
