Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can tuck mytits in my pants
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
