I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
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The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
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My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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