Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
