Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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