That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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