My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
