Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
