Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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