fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize