dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
