Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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