who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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