I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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