yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
