I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
