i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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