i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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