nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just had sex on a roof
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
