wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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