In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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