So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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