as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
