Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
