I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
