these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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