my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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