I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
