You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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