Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
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Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
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Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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