Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
