so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
