i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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