You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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