what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
