FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
