This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
