after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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