And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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