No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
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What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
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You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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