I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
