I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize