Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
