$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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