She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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