first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
