I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
