Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he was CRYING into my vagina
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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