Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
