Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
