she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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