that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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