It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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