My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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