i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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