The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home