Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.

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  (630): but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up. http://tfl.nu/psea
  Replies (29) Good night (776) Bad night (1099)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.

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  (775): I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again. http://tfl.nu/wdl0
  Replies (10) Good night (1916) Bad night (659)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.

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  (203): my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus. http://tfl.nu/bisy
  Replies (9) Good night (844) Bad night (4182)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.

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  (504): Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to. http://tfl.nu/jn1k
  Replies (30) Good night (6680) Bad night (705)
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  (415): View more from California

  if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?

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  (415): if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays? http://tfl.nu/4fwl
  Replies (26) Good night (1046) Bad night (4765)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable

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  (904): Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/aevh
  Replies (4) Good night (706) Bad night (3631)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."

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  (763): We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms." http://tfl.nu/x5sd
  Replies (43) Good night (1579) Bad night (7890)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?

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  (660): Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test? http://tfl.nu/cwr3
  Replies (7) Good night (5169) Bad night (1148)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.

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  (901): If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week. http://tfl.nu/qgby
  Replies (37) Good night (3938) Bad night (1740)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  I saved lives by not driving this morning

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  (904): way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy... (1-904): I saved lives by not driving this morning http://tfl.nu/no2s
  Replies (9) Good night (8149) Bad night (1099)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.

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  (617): mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore. http://tfl.nu/p0bd
  Replies (32) Good night (2110) Bad night (6637)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.

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  (828): I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know. http://tfl.nu/l3hv
  Replies (11) Good night (1163) Bad night (598)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could

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  (803): Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could http://tfl.nu/i42k
  Replies (5) Good night (1476) Bad night (597)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?

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  (320): I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy? http://tfl.nu/wlig
  Replies (6) Good night (908) Bad night (362)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  I NEED to hang out with you more

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  (630): oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra. (1-630): I NEED to hang out with you more http://tfl.nu/k66v
  Replies (3) Good night (695) Bad night (331)

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