quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos