Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.