Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them

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(508): just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them http://tfl.nu/j2g6

Replies (10) Good night (3935) Bad night (642)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.

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(908): Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim. http://tfl.nu/snt6

Replies (21) Good night (1139) Bad night (3943)
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(540): View more from Virginia

when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking

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(540): when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking http://tfl.nu/ngdb

Replies (14) Good night (4274) Bad night (794)
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(813): View more from Florida

you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table

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(813): you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table http://tfl.nu/kgfj

Replies (25) Good night (2336) Bad night (4129)
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(740): View more from Ohio

The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.

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(740): The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story. http://tfl.nu/x6qv

Replies (18) Good night (6501) Bad night (822)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though

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(662): It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though http://tfl.nu/50vd

Replies (15) Good night (4481) Bad night (1047)
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(518): View more from New York

it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.

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(518): it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime. http://tfl.nu/6fla

Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (1784)
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(406): View more from Montana

Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.

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(406): Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body. http://tfl.nu/hcjb

Replies (6) Good night (1063) Bad night (2400)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician

(919): View more from North Carolina

3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.

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(919): Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician (919): 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician. http://tfl.nu/iajm

Replies (10) Good night (2167) Bad night (664)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.

(440): View more from Ohio

The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.

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(440): Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions. (440): The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America. http://tfl.nu/cnoq

Replies (14) Good night (1603) Bad night (581)
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(210): View more from Texas

What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.

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(210): What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that. http://tfl.nu/vntm

Replies (12) Good night (1686) Bad night (391)
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(416): View more from Toronto

He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK

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(416): He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK http://tfl.nu/pb5y

Replies (20) Good night (867) Bad night (2310)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear

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(719): I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear http://tfl.nu/cplq

Replies (1) Good night (1037) Bad night (510)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.

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(608): You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables. http://tfl.nu/khc5

Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (235)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.

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(704): Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls. http://tfl.nu/ygpr

Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (283)

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