You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
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I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...