I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder