I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
