Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen

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  (586): if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/wvv2
  Replies (0) Good night (1397) Bad night (524)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.

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  (205): I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas. http://tfl.nu/ea9i
  Replies (39) Good night (2921) Bad night (723)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"

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  (251): Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave" http://tfl.nu/shdd
  Replies (34) Good night (5442) Bad night (1059)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes

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  (903): I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes http://tfl.nu/cr2r
  Replies (54) Good night (2754) Bad night (5980)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he confused my yawn for an orgasm

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  (201): he confused my yawn for an orgasm http://tfl.nu/lvnz
  Replies (14) Good night (1021) Bad night (6499)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...

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  (+44): got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night... http://tfl.nu/vdnw
  Replies (11) Good night (2822) Bad night (966)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.

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  (815): So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday. http://tfl.nu/ln4p
  Replies (3) Good night (1883) Bad night (676)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I believe some people would call last night an orgy.

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  (757): I believe some people would call last night an orgy. http://tfl.nu/5qwc
  Replies (7) Good night (3814) Bad night (789)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"

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  (215): You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance" http://tfl.nu/4bfe
  Replies (1) Good night (2036) Bad night (696)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"

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  (603): He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories" http://tfl.nu/n295
  Replies (4) Good night (1640) Bad night (598)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.

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  (812): After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything. http://tfl.nu/te7o
  Replies (9) Good night (1358) Bad night (577)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.

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  (814): his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun. http://tfl.nu/so1p
  Replies (2) Good night (379) Bad night (730)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.

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  (724): I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters. http://tfl.nu/g29w
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (464)
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  (408): View more from California

  No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard

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  (408): No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard http://tfl.nu/3xoe
  Replies (3) Good night (522) Bad night (242)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  I seemed to have misplaced my pants...

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  (540): Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?.... (1-540): I seemed to have misplaced my pants... http://tfl.nu/s4v6
  Replies (5) Good night (922) Bad night (264)

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