Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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