Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
