so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
