just tell him i said nine months
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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