No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
