i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
