I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
