So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
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The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
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You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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